By Sheik Muhammad Abdulalimi
In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful. All praises and adoration are due to Allah alone, the Lord of the whole universe, the creator of all creatures. May the peace of Allah been upon the noble soul of our beloved Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him), the Prophet sent by Allah to liberate us from darkness and show us the light, may Allah continue to shower His blessing upon Him, His households, His companions and generality of Muslims who follow His footstep till the day of reckoning.
There is nothing untouched by Islam pertaining the religious, political, socio-economy and security life of an individual and community as a whole.
Islam is a religion of peace that provides a complete system of living for humankind, including marital harmony and conflict resolution. Conflict or quarrel is not what we can avoid among us but we can manage it. Allah created us differently, we have different thinking, different behaviour and different understanding. In view of this, there must be conflict among us such as conflict between husband and wife (wives), conflict among our children, in community, state, country and world in general.
Dear brothers and sisters in Islam, know that reconciling people is among the great noble morals as Allah says: “So fear Allah and amend that which is between you” (Qur’an 8:1).
Reconciling people is a branch of faith and Islamic moral code through which grudges are eliminated, hearts are purified, and flames of fitnah are extinguished. Allah says: “No good is there in much of their private conversation, except for those who enjoy charity or that which is right or conciliation between two people. And whoever does that seeking means to the approval of Allah, then We are going to give him a great reward”.
Dear brothers and sisters! We have to realise that we are human beings and that for disputes to break up among us is something that is normal and natural. Rare are those people who are safe from disagreement. It might occur between you and your brother, relative, spouse, or friends. This happens often so, we have to rid ourselves of this by reconciliation, shaking hands, forgiveness, love and brotherhood so that everything becomes alright again
Allah (SWA) says in glorious Quran, Suratul Al-Hujiraat (49 vs 9) “If two parties among the Believers fall in to quarrel, make a peace between them; but if one of them (groups) transgress beyond bounds against the other, then fight against one that transgress until it reverts to Allah’s commandment; and if they revert, make peace between them with justice and deal equitable with them, verily Allah loves those who act equitable.”
Conflict among us is not what we can avoid rather it is to be manage, if we see two people or two parties that are fighting or quarrelling, the third person should be in position of mediation between them. But the reverse is the case today in which people will be happy when husband and wife or two groups or even between two nations are fighting, instead of resolving the conflict between them, they will be looking for the way the fight will continue maybe because of material gain.
The first effort to resolve should be at the family or friends level. In a marriage conflict or quarrel, an attempt should first be made to resolve the dispute at the family level before it is aggravated and leads to disruption or dissolution of the matrimonial tie. This may be the reason why prophet’s marriage sermon always included emphasis on maintaining strong ties with the relative. Prophet Mohammad says in an authentic hadith that “one of the permissible thing in Islam but not happy with Allah is Divorce”.
The procedure to be followed is that two persons, one on behalf of each family should be nominated to look into the matter together without being bias and devise means whereby the misunderstanding or dispute between the spouses may be brought to an end.
Dear brothers and sister! The one who seeks reconciliation should keep the etiquettes of settlement in mind so that Almighty Allah will support him and so that he receives the rewards of his endeavour. The greatest of these etiquettes include;
He should make his intention sincere for the sake of Allah. He should not intend money, prestige or fame with the reconciliation, but he should seek for the guidance of Allah. Allah sys; “And whoever does that seeking means to the approval of Allah, then we are going to give him a great reward” (Qur’an 4:114).
He should adhere to justice and completely avoid injustice. Allah says; “Then make settlement between in justice and act justly. Allah loves those who act justly” (Qur’an49:9).
Let your conciliation be upon Shari’a knowledge. It is preferable that you consult scholar in this regard, study the issue from all its side, and listen to each of the parties.
Do not rush in your judgement and take your time because hastiness may lead to corrupting more than what has been amended.
You should choose the appropriate time reconciling between the conflicting parties. That is you only start reconciliation when the issue becomes cool, the severity of the dispute is alleviated, and the fire of anger is extinguished; then you start to reconcile them.
What is more important also is using of nice words, you should mention his merits and good deeds and you may exaggerate even to the point of lying to make him happy then, warn him against grudges and disputes.
May Allah Almighty guides us right, purify our hearts from grudge, envy and cheating. Make this sermon be a beneficial one for me, the writer, the readers, and the entire Muslims. And our last prayer, is praise be to Allah Almighty, Lord of the word
