My Mask Is Costlier Than Yours

By Olowogboyega Oyebade

Are you aware that Governor Adegboyega Oyetola of the State of Osun did another wonder again last week by announcing men of impeccable character as new helmsmen at the State Universal Basic Education Board (SUBEB)? Do you know that these men will continue the good job this Board is noted for in the Education Sector of the State? Do you know that the appointment of a thorough-bred educationist  and broadcaster as the Executive Secretary of the Board is a shining icing on the cake? As the Board commences its arduous tasks, do you know that there is no way to say: “My Nose-Mask is Costlier than Yours”? You say why? Come along.

Are you aware that Nigerians have predilection for conspicuous consumption?  Do you know that those of us living in the hinterland do perceive a stench each time we visit Lagos, a stench possibly produced by a potent compound of decaying marine life, stale urine along the verges and days-old shit unabated in very dirty gutters? Do you know that the wide boulevards filled with the luxury cars, the Mercedes Benz, Cadillacs, exotic automobiles cruised along the wide roads, a theatre of conspicuous consumption,  belie the stench? Do you see millions of unruffled men and women, who despite the noise and stench trudge on the streets,  always in a hurry to catch moving vehicles going to nowhere and everywhere? Do you know that before COVID-19,  Lagosians needed nose-masks than any other part of Nigeria? Do you know that despite mouth-gaping “Festus-Iyayi’s “Violence”, the stupendous contradiction of wealth and choking poverty, Lagos life goes on? Do you know that there are two levellers now in Lagos, namely:  COVID-19 and possibly death? Do you know that everything that affects Lagos will trickle-down to all parts of Yoruba land and beyond? Can you understand why many Lagosians are breaching the COVID-19 protocols including wearing of nose-masks?

Are you aware that as the wearing of nose-mask is abused in Lagos, do you know that other inhabitants of our cities are doing the abuse, too? From the people wearing the nose-masks, have you noticed the Lagos-touch? Have you noticed nose-masks with diamond-stones, emeralds of variegated colours, shapes, brands  and sizes  adorned by people in churches, mosques and offices?   Have you not seen class struggle face to face on the masks ranging from the ridiculous to the obscene? Have you not seen adverts and graffitti on nose-masks, telling us the brand, class and social standing of the wearers?   And now the drama there? Have you not seen exotic designs emerging from the architecture of masks, only to be seen covering the chins and not the noses and mouths to save the wearers from the aerated pestilence called COVID-19? Do you know that many of us are making fashion out of the masks and ignoring the science from which it evolves, ignoring the  safety standards that it must exude? Are you not hearing a new slogan yelling boastfully: “My Mask is Costlier Than Yours”? Do you know that as electioneering campaigns are around the corner, the slogan may include: “by their nose masks we shall know them”? Do you know that this ruling consumerist instinct destroys Onuma in the novel titled “My Mercedes is Bigger than Yours”? You want to know more? Come along.

Have you read the novel “My Mercedes is Bigger than Yours” published in the Heinemann African Writers Series in 1975 and authored by Nkem Nwankwo? Do you know that Onuma Okude, the hero of the book is a village boy that has no business to school and work in Lagos and be infected with consumerist Lagos life? Do you that he has a father known as Okude Odemezue, a leading elder and bearer of the “ozo title” in the rural Igbo world, a father  reputed for exploiting poor migrant labourers, cheating them of their pay in a situation where they have no bargaining power since striking would simply lead to their eviction and deportation?

Are you aware that after Onuma completes his secondary and University education in Lagos and secures a public relations job with a foreign shipping firm, he abandons the innate ethos of village life and relishes  in glamour and conspicuous consumption of Lagos life? Do you know that as soon as Onuma gets employed, he shows growing addiction to sex with gorgeous women and with his sex-pursuing lifestyle comes the need for owning an expensive car, the Jaguar, a car bought on a choking instalment plan? Do you know that when he  travels to the village with the car, everybody, including his father believes that he has arrived in wealth not knowing that he is in huge debt, living false life like an average Nigerian elite who takes loans from the Government-sponsored stimulus packages and spends the loans on conspicuous consumption, wasting a life-time opportunity to escape from grinding poverty?

Do you know that in the novel, there is a minor character named Chukwuemeka, a taxi driver that has been infected with “Lagos life”? Do you that this man brands himself Chuks to indicate his sophistication and compliance with city life? Do you know that like most Nigerian youths see good life as hanging out at night with alcohol, drugs and women, Onuma hangs out too, relishing in clubs with alcohol, drugs and women? Do you know that in one of the night-out events, Onuma gives Chuks and a friend of his a lift to a party  held in a neighbouring town? Do you know that at the party,  Onuma engages in bouts of sex with three women in quick succession on the back seat of his Jaguar, soaks in alcohol and ensconcing in a complacent sense of being the “blade among the boys”? Do you know that despite the fact that he is in stupor, at the crack of dawn at the venue of the party, he kicks his car, a car that he acquires on credit and drives recklessly to a predictable crash? Do you know that Onuma crashes his beautiful Jaguar on a treacherous curve near his home?  Do you know that after his  long stumble to his homes,   Onuma lies in a horrible stupor of headache and self-pitying grief at the destruction of his Jaguar? Hurray! Can you believe that  the Jaguar is not a complete wreck and can possibly be salvaged and repaired?

Are you aware that Onuma obtained bill for the repair only to discover that the bill is prohibitive?  Do you know that the Lagos boy that he is prevails on Onuma? What does he do? Can you believe that in order to salvage his car, he steals the funds with which his employer entrusts him to buy forex on the black market in Lagos?  Can you believe that when he  returns to the Jaguar, he finds it a skeleton, an act perpetrated by Chuks using the money he raised from it to set up business anew in a distant town? Do you know that the crime of stealing of fund by Onuma is reported to the police and Onuma does not amount to much again in life, thus killing a dream? Do you know that Onuma is a metaphor of Nigeria, a country that mismanages all its opportunities to greatness?

Do you know that Onuma, like Nigeria is so broke to the canvass that he cannot redeem an ordinary  pledge of donation made openly to the Catholic Church in his village, an offence that leads to his incarceration, an incarceration that leads to his only property, a transistor radio set,  to be confiscated and auctioned like Nigeria auctioned all the commanding heights of its economy to vampires? Do you know that Onuma becomes a political thug engaging in banditry, thuggery and mavolence as we now witness in the theatres of rape, terror and kidnapping in Nigeria? Do you know that Onuma eventually ends up as a wreck and an agony devoid of promise? Do you know that as conspicuous consumption, “My Mercedes is Bigger Than Yours” spirit,  is not good for individuals like Onuma, it is equally not a good therapy for a nation like Nigeria?  Do you know that this was the position of our Vice President and former CBN Governor in a webinar held recently?  You care to know more? Come along.

Have you heard the news that on Friday 19th June, 2020, Vice-President Yemi Osinbajo during a webinar organised by the Emmanuel Chapel, themed, ‘Economic stability beyond COVID-19′, declared that  Nigeria needs a national debate to examine the issues around the size and cost of governance, an attrib ute of conspicous consumption,  which has often been described as expensive and unsustainable?  Do you know that he explained that it could be difficult for the government to do something about its cost by itself but that it is something that must be done? Do you know that the former Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria and immediate past Emir of Kano, Muhammad Sanusi at the same webinar declared that the governance structure in the country had set it up for bankruptcy? The voice of the former CBN Governor cuts in:

“The greater Atlanta (in the United States) has a Gross Domestic Product that is higher than that of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, and Atlanta is not the richest city in the United States. I don’t want to be disrespectful, but the annual sales of Tesla exceeds the budget size of our country, so should we not begin to cut our coat according to our cloth; should we not begin to look at all these costs and the constitution itself; maybe turn the legislators to part-time lawmakers, have a unicameral legislature instead of bicameral, have the local governments run by employees of the Ministry of Local Government Affairs? We just need to think out of the box to reduce structural cost and make government sustainable over the long term.”

The voice of Vice President Osinbajo resonates:

“There is no question that we are dealing with large and expensive government, but as you know, given the current constitutional structure, those who would have to vote to reduce (the size of) government, especially to become part-time legislators, are the very legislators themselves. So, you can imagine that we may not get very much traction if they are asked to vote themselves, as it were, out of their current relatively decent circumstances.

So, I think there is a need for a national debate on this question and there  is a need for us to ensure that we are not wasting the kind of resources that we ought to use for development on overheads. At the moment, our overheads are almost 70 per cent of revenues, so there is no question at all that we must reduce the size of government. Part of what you would see in the Economic Sustainability Plan also and several of the other initiatives is trying to go, to some extent, to what was recommended in the (Steve) Oransaye Report, to collapse a few of the agencies to become a bit more efficient and make government much more efficient with whatever it has.”

Do you know that there are some characters frustrating the good efforts of the President? Are you aware that last year, Nigeria’s Communication Minister, Dr Isa Ali Ibrahim Pantami  set 25th September, 2019 as the deadline for registration of all sim cards in the country, a target of about 9 months ago? Do you know that the Minister said this while receiving the Management Team of the Nigerian Communications Commission (NCC) in his office?  Are you aware that at the time he was making this declaration, Nigeria was having 9.2 million improperly registered SIM cards? Do you know that each improperly registered SIM card is a smart ballistic in the hand of kidnapers, bandits and terror-machines? Do you know that as we speak, Nigerians are still patronizing sellers of pre-registered SIM cards without bothering that the act is a criminal offense and convicts will be fined and jailed if caught? Do you know that the new SIM Cards Registration policy was instituted by the Federal Government as a strategic response to the challenges of identity tracking especially in the context of kidnappings, terrorism and other forms of criminality in our society and globally?  Do you know that the reason consumers should stop buying and using unregistered SIMs is because they do not know which evil that might have been committed with the cards?  Do you know that communication consumers must be accorded basic rights ? Can you believe that some of these illegal cards are the smart ballistics used by these criminal elements to put the country at the tipping edge of a failed State?

Do you know that we have to be very vigilant? Did you hear that three bombers detonated their explosives outside a hall in Konduga in Borno State  where football fans were watching a match on TV recently killing 30 people? Do you know that the peaceful protest, organised by the Coalition of Northern Groups (CNG), rocked Katsina on Tuesday, 16th June, 2020 prompting the President to dispatch security chiefs, led by the National Security Adviser, Major General Babagana Mungono (rtd), to the State on Wednesday, 17th June, 2020 to find solutions to the security crisis?  Do you know that the delegation was also in Sokoto, which is in the throes of banditry?  Do you know that in the North-East, there has been a resurgence in Boko Haram attacks, the worst in recent times occured in Faduma Kolomdi, a village in Gubio Local Government Area of Borno State in which 81 people were killed in one day as well as bandits also killed over 70 people in Sokoto, also in one day, while Southern Kaduna, Zamfara, Niger, Plateau and Benue States have become the hotbeds of insecurity? Do you know that the protesters expressed their anger against  perceived inability to provide security for the country? Besides, are you aware that the Sultan of Sokoto, Alhaji Muhammad Sa’ad Abubakar, CNG and the Northern Elders Forum (NEF) once condemned escalating security crisis and told the President to get his act together as fighting insecurity is one of the campaign promises of Mr President?  The voice of the UN Humanitarian Coordinator in Nigeria, Edward Kallon, on the attacks, on Monday 15th June, 2020, cuts in:

“This is another terribly sad day for civilians in northeast Nigeria and for the humanitarians who are working to help them. The UN and its partners deplore these abhorrent acts of violence and call for those responsible for these attacks to be swiftly brought to justice.”

Hurray! Are you aware that on Thursday 18th  June, 2020 President Muhammadu Buhari moved to restore public confidence in his administration’s capability to protect lives and property, as he pointedly told security chiefs to up their game as  “their best was not enough” and  demanded an immediate reversal of the current security crisis ravaging the country? The voice of National Security Adviser, General Monguno cuts in:

“Today’s meeting basically focused on recent developments. Mr. President is extremely unhappy and  told us clearly in no uncertain terms that he, and indeed the administration, campaigned to power on the platform of three issues – fighting insecurity, overcoming our economic difficulties and dealing with the scourge of corruption. Moreso, he noted that it takes common sense for anyone to understand that without security, the pursuit of the other two will just be an exercise in futility. ..Mr. President said that we in the security agencies must ensure that we justify the leadership by not disappointing the populace. He also pointed out the immediate areas of concern especially the issue of proliferation of drugs, small arms and light weapons. These two issues also go hand in hand with the major issues of criminality in this country”.

Do you know that the NSA hinted that the meeting expressed concern about the use of unregistered SIM cards, noting that insecurity will not be overcome until that matter is promptly checked in Nigeria? Do you know that we all have a duty to campaign seriously about this evil?  The voice of the NSA cuts in:

“Another area which raises concern is the use of unregistered SIM cards. In my own brief, I dwelt on that issue and I raised concern that whatever we intend to achieve, we will not be able to get to the promised land unless we wrestle this issue of unrestrained acquisition of unregistered SIM cards. Mr. President has directed that I, as the national security adviser, should link up with the honourable Minister of Communications and Digital Economy to workout a blueprint to ensure the end of the irresponsible use of any SIM card. Of course, I urged my colleagues, the Inspector General of Police and Director General of Department of State Services to help on this issue.”

Do you know that the NSA equally noted the spirit of “My Mercedes is Bigger Than Yours” instinct as it reflects in lack of coordination among security agencies, noting that the matter will have to be decisively addressed with the creation of a platform for the coordination of all security operations? The NSA cuts in:

“Finally, the issue of lack of synergy within the security sector has to be addressed also and has left us in no doubt that unless we address this issue and form a single front, the convergence of efforts, the confluence of all ideas be they operational or intelligence, must be achieved. We must have a central platform to coordinate all the efforts, all operations and security. In the final analysis, Mr. President has said everyone is doing his best but his best is not good enough.”

Are you aware that the IMF forecast in April a contraction of 3% for the global economy in 2020 which will be “unlike anything the world has seen before”? Do you know that the Fund noted that the services industry had been more severely impacted than manufacturing — which represents a change from previous crises, where a lack of investment hit manufacturing activity hardest? Do you know that the institution’s Chief Economist said that the global economy is on track for a more significant contraction than the International Monetary Fund estimated that the global economy would suffer the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression of the 1930s? The voice of Gita Gopinath, the IMF’s chief economist, cuts in:

“For the first time since the Great Depression, both advanced and emerging market economies will be in recession in 2020. The forthcoming June World Economic Outlook Update is likely to show negative growth rates even worse than previously estimated.”

Do you know that the IMF mission took place from 29th January – 11 February, 2020 before COVID-19 became a global pandemic? Have you heard that a new International Monetary Fund (IMF) Country Report No. 20/177, titled “Nigeria: Additional Spending Toward Sustainable Development Goals,” was released on Monday 15th June, 2020 that provides technical advice to Nigeria says the country needs to increase spending by 18 per cent of gross domestic product (GDP) in some critical sectors to make progress and achieve the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) by 2030? Do you know that the Report emphasizes increased annual spending in five critical SDG sectors, namely education, health, roads, electricity, and water and sanitation by 4 percentage points of GDP to expand health workers, improve infrastructure, and improve health outcomes? The Report declares:

“Nigeria faces serious development gaps. Healthy life expectancy is 49 years, placing Nigeria among the bottom six countries in the world. Some 54 percent of the population is connected to an electricistandards, reduce poverty, and provide better opportunities for the youth, Nigeria needs to invest more in its people and its infrastructure? Do you know that the Fund observes that in the education sector, the relatively low resources devoted to the sector are insufficient to deliver quality education for all in view of the fact that Social Development Goal  4 aims to ensure inclusive and equitable access to quality education and lifelong learning opportunities for all?  Can you believe that the Fund estimates total annual spending in education would need to increase by 7.7 per cent of GDP by 2030? To tackle health inefficiencies, do you know that the Fund  recommends that the country should increase annual spending by 4 percentage points of GDP to expand health workers, improve infrastructure, and improve health outcomes so as to help to achieve SDG 3, which focuses on universal health coverage and seeks an end to the epidemics of major communicable and non-communicable and environmental diseases?           Do you know that in the electricity sector, the IMF calls for annual investments of 1 per cent of GDP for the rehabilitation and expansion of power infrastructure as provided in Goal 7 which seeks to promote broader energy access and increased use of renewable energy,?  Do you know that as for roads, the report estimates 2 per cent of annual GDP to expand the road network as captured in Goal 9 which identifies infrastructure as an important aspect of sustainable development, alongside industrialization and innovation?  Do you know that road transport has a key role to play in achieving the SDGs by facilitating the movement of people and goods to foster economic and social prosperity?

Are you aware that SDG 6 addresses the importance of sanitation and hygiene, placing emphasis on quality and sustainability of water resources?  Do you know that in the water and sanitation sector, the report estimates that open defecation can be eradicated and basic water and sanitation can be achieved at a modest annual cost of 0.6 per cent of GDP, while water and sanitation for all will be achieved at an additional 2.5 per cent of annual GDP?  Do you know that apart from mobilising resources, the Fund said that improving coordination and strengthening governance is critical to delivering on the SDGs?

Hurray! Are you aware that in the bid to arrest the slide to recession and poverty, the  Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) announced on Thursday 18th June, 2020 that it has unveiled a framework that will integrate a non-interest window in all its intervention programmes aimed at supporting businesses and households that have been impacted negatively by the COVID-19 pandemic? Do you know that the apex bank said the integration will focus mainly on its Anchor Borrowers’ Programme (ABP) as well as the Targeted Credit Facility (TCF)?  Are you aware that the CBN’s Anchor Borrowers’ Programme mainly provides financial and other supports to smallholder farmers in a bid to boost productivity? Are you aware that this simply means that the CBN is putting measures in place that will ensure to provide loans to Medium, Small and Medium Enterprises (MSMEs) without requiring borrowers to pay interests on such loans?  Do you know that the CBN’s non-interest window operation is defined as part of a conventional financial institution (which may be a branch or a dedicated unit) that provides fund management (investment accounts), financing, investment and other banking services that are Shariah-compliant”? Do you know that in the meantime, the CBN will be deploying the sum of N432 billion to fund the value chains of nine commodities during the 2020 farming season as part of  the government’s commitment to reinvigorate the country’s agric sector by providing necessary support to farmers, all with the ultimate goal of averting a recession in the economy?

Do you know that at least, more than 1.1 million farmers (cultivating more than one million hectares of arable lands) will benefit from the CBN loans and this should enable them to collectively produce as much as 8.3 million metric tons of assorted produce?  Do you know that there is the need for the Ministries of Information at the Federal and State levels to embark on massive campaigns to educate the beneficiaries of these loans not to turn it to “My Mercedes is Bigger Than Yours”? Do you know that if the audit of the previous interventions is done, some of the beneficiaries may be found guilty of diversion? The statement of the CBN cuts in: Part of the statement by the CBN said:

“CBN earmarks N432bn to fund the value chains of nine commodities in the 2020 wet season farming. CBN committed to aggressively fund its agricultural programmes and spur farmers along select crop value chains to prevent the country from sliding into a recession.”

Do you know that some things are missing in the package of the interventions? First, do you know that many civil servants are not aware that they can partake and benefit from the agricultural stimulus packages of various governments? Do you know that information about the successes of the previous interventions are not fully collated to encourage more youths to key into these laudable interventions? Do you know that there is no register for the heroes of these interventions to celebrate them and convince the cynics that new messiahs are here? Do you know that there is no register to blacklist the black sheep who benefitted from the programme and frustrated it by conspicuous consumption? Do you know that without these verifications, various intervention programmes may not go far beyond the span of life of this administration? Can we get a well-disciplined leadership of an integrity-denominated President like this in the nearest future to lead by the front line like this?   Do you know that efforts are on to re-open the economy of the sub-region of West Africa and in the language of “The Boy Scout” we have to “Be Prepared”?

Are you aware that the Ministers from the Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS) sub-region  recommended the gradual re-opening of the borders of member States in the first half of July, 2020 to allow travellers from countries with low or controlled levels of coronavirus cases by the end of July as contained in a communique from a virtual meeting that was held last week by Foreign Affairs and Trade Ministers from the West African countries? Can you believe that the closure of the borders delayed the take-off of the African Free Trade Zone (AFCFTA), which has been referred to as the world’s largest free-trade zone?  Do you know that the implementation of the trade agreement which was to take off on July 1, 2020, has been postponed to January 1, 2021? Do you know that the first phase involves the opening up of domestic air and land transport in the month of June, 2020, the second phase of the recommendation involves the opening of land, air and sea borders within the region by middle of July while the third phase involves the opening of air and land borders to countries with low and controlled levels of coronavirus cases by 31 July, 2020? Do you know that these recommendations by the Ministers are expected to be presented to the ECOWAS Heads of State at a forth-coming summit? Do you know that the dream  gains from the eventual re-opening of the borders and indeed the take-off of the African Free Trade Zone (AFCFTA) in 2021 will be a fleeting dream if the instinct of “My Mercedes is Bigger Than Yours” is not discouraged among West African nations particularly as it relates to our food imports? Are we going to the market with our own manufactured goods or we are going there to assist to market Chinese, European and American goods?  Do you know that some of our neighbours are providing hide-outs and selling war ballistics to the terror  machines inflicting pains and death on Nigerians in the spirit of “My Mercedes is Bigger than Yours”?

Hurray! Are you aware that the Chinese government on Wednesday 17th June, 2020 announced that it was prepared to give debt relief to African countries under the Forum on China–Africa Cooperation (FOCAC) framework? Do you know that this promise was made by China’s President Xi Jinping, speaking at the Extraordinary China-African virtual Summit on solidarity against COVID-19? Do you know that African countries’ indebtedness to China is estimated to be hovering around $80b to $100b, as China has major stakes in the economies of many African countries with Angola , owing China a debt of $25 billion, with Ethiopia ($13.5 billion), Zambia ($7.4 billion), the Republic of Congo ($7.3 billion), and North Sudan ($6.4 billion)? Are you aware that the Debt Management Office of Nigeria on 12th  April, 2019 announced that the Chinese loan portfolio to Nigeria is $70 billion?  Do you know that African economies are currently under threats with poor revenue occasioned by the destructive effects of the global Coronavirus pandemic, as the Chinese loans are used largely for infrastructure financing? Do you know that as China wants to reduce our liability we need to leverage on our productive capacity to cancel receipts of imports of furniture, textiles, stationery items like biro, ruler, erazers, toys, kitchen utensils, tiles, menstrual pads, baby-kits, paints, bulbs and many other ornaments consuming conspicuously our foreign reserves by encouraging local productions of these items? Can we ask ourselves? What is the critical science in a ruler that we have to import it from China?  What is the critical engineering in a bicycle that we have to continue to import it since the Portuguese visited Calabar in the 15th century till today? Do you know that this is a task for President Buhari to accomplish for Nigeria? The voice of President Xi Jinping cuts in:

“China will cancel the debt of relevant African countries in the form of interest-free government loans that are due to mature by the end of 2020”.

And one more task! Are you aware that the European Union Election Observation Mission (EU EOM) in Nigeria has said Nigeria’s elections were characterized by systemic failures as published in the final report on the 2019 General Elections? Do you know that the election were adjudged to be marred by violence and harassment of voters? Do you know that this is the most disciplined administration in the contemporary history of Nigeria that must clear this mess before it goes?  Do you know that this instinct of “ My Mercedes is Bigger Than Yours” in our polity and Service cannot take us far? Have you ever taken time to read the 1963 Republican Constitution? Do you know that we do not need a seer to tell us that we need all its provisions now in Nigeria to deal with our economy, security and politics?  Do you know that adopting it will be like a new-found vaccine to immune our country from metaphorical COVID-19 stultifying our politics, economy, education and culture of Nigerians? The European Union observer mission cuts in:

“The elections became increasingly marred by violence and intimidation, with the role of the security agencies becoming more contentious as the process progressed, This damaged the integrity of the electoral process and may deter future participation.”

We congratulate all the new appointees into the Public Service and we enjoin you to join Mr Governor, Mr Adegboyega Oyetola  to wear the nose masks of achievements to ward off any COVID-19 of skewed performance. There is no time for waste. And there will not be any time or means to say: “My Mask is Costlier Than Yours”