When Your Name is Omo-Agege by Onoshe Nwabuikwu

I was going to call this: ‘Politicians Say the Darndest Things’ based on President Muhammadu Buhari’s reported comments that he wasn’t thinking about politics but focused on security and the economy. The article was coming along nicely. I had managed to convince or intimidate those who refuse to be convinced that the President was speaking the truth, that there was no doubt his entire focus is on the economy and security. Contrary to what some naysayers would have us believe, Nigeria is reaping bountifully from these concerted efforts on economy and security.

Then the news broke that suspended APC Senator Ovie Omo-Agege, (representing Delta Central Senatorial District) had invaded the National Assembly with or without the help of thugs and taken the mace. The videos as seen in all the TV stations do show the man walking towards the mace flanked by people who looked like thugs. Then, the magic happened. However, I like that Senator Shehu Sani managed to convince his colleagues to continue sitting, first offering his belt until the spare mace was brought in.

As someone who lived in Lagos for 17 years, if anyone introduced themselves to me as Omo Agege, I’ll be a little wary of that person. It’s like being called Omo jaguda. Apologies to all the decent and law-abiding people of Agege. Now, I haven’t been to Agege in a few years; so, I’m just going with my pre-2005 Agege, where life was rugged and there were quite a few colourful characters from that part of Lagos.

What’s in a name, you ask? Well, it so happens that Ovie Omo-Agege has become extra famous. I imagine before now, he must have attracted some attention because of things like Agege bread, etc. Have you seen the memes? The man has been nicknamed The Mace Runner. This is a tailor-made Nollywood film with Mr. Ibu as lead. Just imagine Mr. Ibu running with the mace, certified blockbuster, I tell you.

Some witty person online has even managed to change the slang “Warri No Dey Carry Last” to “Warri No Dey Carry Last, Na Mace Dem Dey Carry.”

…Politicians Still Say the Darndest Things

The brouhaha from the alleged Omo-Agege stunt had hardly died down when our president released another quotable quote while addressing the Commonwealth Heads of Government meeting in the UK: “More than 60 per cent of the population is below 30. A lot of them haven’t been to school and they are claiming that Nigeria is an oil producing country; therefore, they should sit and do nothing, and get housing, health care, education for free.”

To tell you the truth, I have no words or the now popular phrase: I can’t deal. The best reaction has to be cartoonist, Mike Asukwo’s: “If wishes were power bikes, every jobless Nigerian youth would ride.” You can laugh/cry, if you get the joke.

President Buhari was only keeping to his modus operandi whenever he travels outside of Nigeria. It’s like something in the air abroad, the 24-hour electricity, the Boko Haram-free environment, or the absence of herdsmen. There’s something. I don’t believe it’s just because he was far from his handlers. Not to mention the fact that some of these handlers have called Nigerians worse names.