Now That The Wedding Is Over, What Did You Learn?

Go on Google, type Meghan and if Markle doesn’t come out as a suggestion you should just throw your phone or system away, in fact if your friends on social media haven’t talked about it, then it’s either you have no friends, or you have no friends. Meghan Markle’s story will definitely be named as one of the most trending stories for 2018 at the end of the year, from her story as an actress, to when she got introduced to the prince through a mutual friend on a blind date, the proposal, giving up her career, and the ‘almighty wedding’. One can’t deny that the media sure did a good job at giving us the sweetest details as to how the two met, how Prince Harry had hand-picked his mother Diana’s favorite flowers for his new bride, how he had in fact shade a few tears and all the sweet things that makes a blog have readers and a newspaper sell more papers.

Now back to reality, back to ‘common sense’, a lot has taken place before the two love birds got to where there are now in their lives some of which sites like TMZ couldn’t let go of and these should perhaps teach us a few lessons of our own, after all we can’t live long enough to make all the mistakes and learn from them, but we can learn from the decisions of others to live a better life. So here are about 6 things we should learn from our modern day Cinderella story.

• Settle Your Past

This, if Meghan had known would have been a different story. Meghan perhaps got more backlash from her siblings than she did from ‘racist’ who felt she wasn’t good enough for the prince. We make the mistake often times moving on in life and leaving loose ends in our pasts which affects us once we attain a position of power. Meghan just like a billion other people in the world was not close to one side of the family, and like that wasn’t bad enough she had shut them out leading to the rants and stupid letters from her siblings. If she wasn’t married to the prince they wouldn’t have cared much is what I believe, and they wanted her to feel pain and disgrace. This is a lesson to those of you who have loose ends in your past, a ex who hurt you badly, a ex you broke-up with, a worker you fired, a worker you refused to pay their last salary for whatever reason, your stepmom because you feel she took your father away, her children who are your siblings, the uncle who took your father’s house when he died, your friend who dated your boyfriend and is now married with kids to the love of your life, the student you beat excessively when you were a teacher and the mother who had abandoned you. Honestly we all have that one drama we walked away from, and although walking away might have been great, you feel the ghosts wouldn’t come back especially if you finally make a name for yourself?  My advice is simple although it will take a lot of courage, reach out to that part of your past, forgive if you have to, apologies, and be sure you have the door well shut after you.

• Choose Your Priorities In Life And Stand By Them

One of the strongest women I know is the one who I was lucky enough to be birthed by- My Mum. She had no idea what feminism was or who a feminist was when she got married and decided to be the one who stayed home to groom her kids, something I’ve come to understand I have not the courage or strength for (dear housewives, there is nothing wrong in what you do just as there is nothing wrong in those wives who work and help financially), and her decision was based on her priorities in life. So has Meghan made her choice by letting go of her career for her new family, and please people there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. As men and women, we must be able to list our priorities in life so as to make us have a easy life especially when it comes to taking decisions. Some career ladies would never have been able to let go of their job because that is their very first priority and there is nothing wrong with that too. When you know your priorities it is hard to make decisions based on the wrong reasons because you already know what’s more important than what.  Standing by these priorities however entails that you understand the downside of the decisions you have taken and be able to live with them.

• Make Safe Sacrifices

Honestly as a pessimist that I am, this is one of the best advises ever in life. A lot happen in movies that do not happen in reality, especially in NIGERIA. Don’t think if you talk to your mother anyhow she will walk out of the house, think of all the wrong things she has done and apologize to you o, NO NO NO, just know you’re dead, or you’re somewhere thinking the Nigerian police cares about you, no they don’t they are currently been beaten up by soldiers, or doing the beating to civilians and Civil Defense Officials (I hope you all have seen the videos) so please just wake up. Meghan gave up her career to marry A PRINCE, have a royal title, possibilities of giving birth to royal children and so much more, what I call a “safe sacrifice”. Although she might not have everything rosy, which is how life is generally, she has gotten a way better deal. Don’t quit your job to be a dancer if you don’t have enough money saved up to sustain you till you start getting steady jobs. Don’t quit school to be a footballer, a musician, an actress like they do in the movies, why? because you need some source of livelihood (which you can get with a degree) to sustain you while you pursue your dreams. I’m not saying we all have to go to the university to be great, I’m saying you need to have something doing (please not yahoo) to sustain you, and this is not obodo oyinbo where getting a job as a waitress or cleaner would sustain you. The country is tough already as it is, don’t put all your eggs in one basket only for one abgero at Oshodi to steal the basket from you.

• You Are Good Enough

The guilt of never been good enough is the biggest disguise of low self esteem. In all honesty we all don’t deserve what life gives to us sometimes, but you get what you work for. If Meghan had found herself in the society some did, she wouldn’t have even have thought herself good enough because she was divorced, was an actress (who to many in our side of the world, including those who studied abroad feel are prostitutes) and was nowhere near been a royal. Self confidence gets you into a place you ordinarily wouldn’t get into and that’s how Meghan has become a royal. Often times the world is quick to remind you of your mistakes, the nudes you sent to a boyfriend in high school which eventually leaked, the time you got drunk on Matriculation day, when you had gotten pregnant in school and had to drop out, how many times you had written ICAN exams before your village people finally let you go and so much more, but all these don’t matter if you find your strengths in your pasts. There are a million and one pastors who had the worst pasts, had killed, had robbed people, had been in cults, and so on and yet there use their past to preach and motivate others, so how much more when ‘the one’ finally come. One way I grew my confidence back in school was using what my mates tried to bully me with as my strength and over the years my family and friends have concluded that it was hard trying to use something I did or was to insult me because I had embraced every aspect of my past so much that even the dirtiest pasts I was proud I had experienced because they got me here. Boost your confidence people, believe that you are good enough for whatever good life brings your way, confidence attracts success and happiness, no prince wants a girl walks around moody because she hates herself for the situation she has or had found herself at some point. Kim Kardashian got even more famous than the bitter, broke ex you released their sex tapes which can never be completely wiped from the internet, and look where she is now, confident enough to start businesses, makes million in a year, marry and have children. So why can’t you, can your past be as worse as hers?

• The Wedding Is Not For You But Your Families, But You Can Have A Dress Of Your Choice

Finally on a lighter note, the royal wedding has told us once again that it is the family’s weeding but your marriage. Looking at the guests in attendance, one can be sure that the bride and groom had no idea who half the guests were. The bride however wore a dress that made a lot of “slay mamas” in Nigeria very upset. According to most her dress was too simple, too plain, no details, not fit for a royal wedding, blah blah blah. Well at least she got something comfortable to wear, something not revealing, classy and VERY expensive, something which has unfortunately become a thing of the past in our weddings.

 

In all honesty, the Royal Wedding and all the stories behind the scenes teaches us how to be self reliant, confident, believe in yourself, learn from your mistakes, weighing your options, self esteem and the rest. No matter what Life presents, just believe you can make it, be what you are destined to be.