SEX AND LIFE: Virginity And Its Pride

By Damilola Ojenike

Virginity is a state whereby a person has never engaged in sexual intercourse. There are cultural practices and religious traditions that place special values and significance on this state, predominantly towards unmarried females, which are usually associated with notions of honour, worth and personal purity. Like chastity, the concept of virginity has traditionally involved sexual abstinence.

The concept ‘Virginity’ usually involves moral or religious issues and can have consequences in terms of social status and interpersonal relationships. In the days of old, virginity has social implications and had significant legal implication in most societies/cultures, but it has little or no legal consequences in most cultures in the world of today – why? Because the society has lost its core value.

Although, virginity has historically been correlated with purity, many feminine scholars believe that it is a myth. It is believed that in the olden days, virginity was a thing held in high regard in societies and it was a basis of a societal cores and values that its hold in high regards in most families, as well as a thing of joy for the woman (lady), her family and the society she belongs to.

Most cultures believe that a lady must keep her virginity till marriage so as to avoid problems in her marriage. The Yoruba especially, believe that you must not be sexually promiscuous, as sex defines a covenant with a man you sleep with and, in which many health issues may protrude from.

It can be argued that some of popular pregnancy related issues amongst other problems in this new age are results of promiscuity. The Yoruba culture believes that you must be a virgin before you are given out in marriage. Losing one’s virginity brings shame, disgrace, insult, reproach to the family and causes infidelity now rampant in marriages.

Infact, the first sexual intercourse by a female is considered to be an important personal milestone. The occasion is at times seen as the end of innocence, integrity, or purity.

All major religions have moral codes covering issues of sexuality, morality and ethics. However, the impact of religious teaching has at times been limited. For example, most religions disapprove of premarital sex, albeit widely pronounced. Islam is one of the two major religions in Nigeria and considers extramarital sex to be sinful and forbidden.

Premarital sex in some muslim societies, even if not falling within legal standards of proof, may result in personal shame and loss of family honour.

Christianity however is not a fan of premarital sex too. Paul the apostle expressed the view that a person’s body belongs to God and its God’s temple. However, he stated that sexual relations are expected between a married couple.

Choosing to remain a virgin until marriage is a respectable personal decision for both male and female.

There are many good reasons for pledging to wait until marriage to have sex including health reasons, protecting the sanctity of sex, and honouring a special commitment to someone who is significant in your life (your spouse). Knowing that you are a virgin saves you a lot of stress, diseases, facing the possibility of an abortion, or being forced to start a family before you are ready for marriage.

Virginity is a personal thing and should only be disclosed to people you completely trust. Surround yourself only with people who respect your decision. Gradually, distance yourself from anyone who makes you feel insecure about your decision or who constantly engages in activities you are not comfortable with.

Remember, the best gift you can give your spouse as a young woman is your virginity. This is golden.

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