Sexual Pleasure And What To Know By Adeoye Oyewole

Sexual pleasure can be one of the life’s most rewarding experiences. But there are also a lot of confusing things about sex and it is totally normal to have questions about this subject.

People define “sex” in many different ways, and it means different things to them.

Types of Sex

Vaginal sex (penis-in-vagina intercourse)

Dry humping or genital rubbing (heavy petting)

Fingering or hand jobs (hand-to-genital contact)

Masturbation (pleasuring yourself to the point of ejaculation)

What is vaginal sex?

Vaginal sex is what most people think of as sex. It is specifically the kind of sex where an adult male inserts his penis inside an adult female vagina. It is also the only kind of sex that can result in pregnancy.

Unprotected vaginal sex can put two sexually active partners at risk for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) including HIV/AIDS. So it is advisable to always use male or female condoms for protection.

What is oral sex?

Oral sex is defined as the act of using the mouth to stimulate another person’s genitals. However, there are many ways to refer to oral sex including, going down on someone, eating someone out, giving someone a blow job, or giving head but there is a zero chance of getting pregnant or getting cancer from oral sex.

Unprotected oral sex still puts both partners at risk for STDs. For safer oral sex, always there is no alternative for male or female condom.

What is an orgasm?

An orgasm occurs when muscles that were tightened, when a person was sexually excited or stimulated are released and relaxed and then return back to how they were before arousal. Having an orgasm is sometimes called “coming” or “cumming” or releasing.

Each person has a different and unique experience of orgasms but the most common experiences may include: a feeling of warmth, faster heartbeat, sweating, faster and harder breathing, your face and chest might get flushed, and you will have muscle spasms in your genitals. Some feel the urge to moan or scream out in pleasure. It is often intense and feels really good.

During orgasm, some ‘feel-good chemicals are released into the bloodstream that might create a giddy, happy, warm or even sleepy feeling.

Men usually ejaculate when they reach orgasm. Some women ejaculate during sexual activity, too.

Some women may have orgasms that are so mild that they may think they did not actually have one but male orgasms are unmistakable. Also, it is nice for ladies to focus on what they feel rather than their idea or imagination of what an orgasm ought to be.

Talking about Sex (what partners should talk about?)

Sex has a lot to do with trust and responsibility. So being open with each other about sex is very essential. It is easier for people to be naked before each other than to openly talk and discuss about the act of sex itself. Advice is that sex talk should be encouraged amongst couples and sexually active partners.

The point is, even though it is important to talk about sex, it is usually difficult to do it. Reasons could range from past experience to deeply held beliefs about sex to religious stance to rumours/hearsay to how society treats the subject of sex itself. In some places, talking about sex is an outright taboo. There is no taboo in sex and sexual activities. It is important for couples to have open communication with their partner to help ensure a good and healthy relationship.

Tips on how to talk about sex with a partner:

Open the discussion by getting to know the partner very well.

Ask your partner to talk about himself/herself

Ask about their sex life

Ask about their past sexual experiences

Ask what they think about safe sex

Ask if they have ever been tested for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and HIV/AIDS?

Ask what they think about condoms

Knowing about a person and their past can help to make better decisions concerning safety. Secrecy is dangerous. Overcoming discomfort or shyness is not easy but working up confidence and having a say is way better and more rewarding than contracting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) including HIV and unwanted pregnancy.

How to talk about sex with parents

If a person feels safe talking with their parents about sex, then let them do it. Sure, it can be a little embarrassing but it is definitely worth starting the conversation. Parents are sometimes scared talking to their children about sex, so talking to them first might be the best way to begin the conversation. Many parents and other trusted adults can offer great information and advice about sex, health, and staying safe.

One way to avoid awkwardness is to ask such parents questions about what they think about sex to show them that their opinions are respected.

Asking them questions about what it was like when they were young or when they first started having sex is a great way to learn, get their trust, and even hear some funny stories from their past.